Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
