found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
