You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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