i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
