Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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