dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
