I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
