Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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