If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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