Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
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It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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