Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
