About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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