I look better un-naked...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm both gender and math confused
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
