remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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