Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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