i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
