Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
