My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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