It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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