Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
