Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
