Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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