There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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