I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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