He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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