I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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