it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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