Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
