he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
