He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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