So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
