You can't motorboat a personality
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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