There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she smelled like a LAN party
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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