i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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