apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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