Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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