You're my little dorito
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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