So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
