Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
