so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
