I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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