Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
