OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't turn off my feet"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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