there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
