You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
