What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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