sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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