sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't notice because vodka
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
