dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
