Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
