They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
