with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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