I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
love makes seman taste better
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
