i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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