dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
