Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
