When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
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Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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