I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my liver is dry heaving
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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