I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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