I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
