At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
