i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Boobs speak an international language.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
