Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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