You can't motorboat a personality
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
